letter to me sisters

This what I am about to write to you all is very hard for me to say, but its something i have to say.
Its hard cos your ment to be my family and help me and sitck by me through everything. Something that i feel that over
the past 4 years of living in gloucester. not once have you come to visit me at all yet all the time you lived in london
me and mum traveled down to see you sometimes for a month at a time and i missed out on alot of schooling cos of it.
I never complained about coming to see you infact i loved it and fell in love with london. yet when i moved down you ALL
promised you would visit me and come see me as oftern as you could. i could count the times i been up filey and thats 3
times. yet you still not been to see me i dont give a fook if its for a day or 2 at least you came. thats the first thing
Oh by they way when do you plan on coming when i am having my operation so it makes it look like you care and doing it out
duty well it aint good enough. infact if no one comes sees me before i have my op then do not expect me to ring or terry
for that matter i have told them all not to unles the worst happens but that aint gunna i am too bloody strong i have had to be
since its me on my own without mum and grandma apart from terry but this is all new to him i am scard what it will do to him
if the worst happens. i know none of you like him well it not you lot he married is it if it was then i would have summet
to say about it but to be honest he needs YOUR support too for fook sakes think of him if not me i have to all the time and
it gets me so down at times and makes me so depressed i hate myself. and as for greaving for mum and grandma still not happened
why is that you say well if i did then i wouldnt be here either, i have to be strong for so many people and i carnt do it
no more. and i need help and someone to bloody stop and think about ME,. or am i dreaming that it will happen.


secondly as much as i want to move back i carnt i am stuck as we are so much in debt we just have not the money to do it.
we have struggled so bloody much over the past year alone and its made me now having to use a bloody wheelechair. have
you any idea who bad that is for me having to go just round courner to asda to get a few bits. even then we dont eat much.
we just havent the money to eat and something has to give.
when you offered me money to come up that felt like a kick in the teeth to me all year we been struggling and now you offer.
do you have any idea how that bloody felt. the presents that kieran and alexander got for god sakes i was bloody jelouse all
we got was £20 of each of you and £100 of dad i would prefered without it. i have been so strong and bloody stubben to say whats
been happening down here well there you have it but that is not even the tip of the iceberg to be honest its alot worse
than that we are in debt by just over £2,500 all cos of our landlords. as we could not offored to be homeless even though we are
trying to take them to court we may still lose and if we did not only will we be homeless but we would be pennieless too.
thats most of whats happened and you think my year was a good year no even the new year is gunna me shit as it will just be the
same again anyway with another set of bills that comes in. you may read this and think god she gone on what can i do well you
carnt do bugger all as no one will help us but what if i did ask for help what then lets try HELP US PLEASE. im gunna go now cos
i have no energy to write no more.

THINK SISTERS IF THATS WHAT I AM WELL THEN BLOODY ACT LIKE IT WILL YOU AND FOR GOD SAKE THE WORLD DOSE NOT REVOLVED AROUND
YOU AND THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN FILEY AND SMALL MINDEDNESS. I DO LOVE YOU ALL BUT I CARNT GO ON LIKE THIS NO MORE I LEAVE
THAT WITH YOU THEN

OH HAPPY NEW YEAR AND MERRY CHRISTMAS AS THIS MAY BE THE LAST WE SPEAK AS YOU WILL HATE ME AND NEVER WANNA SPEAK TO ME AGAIN
WELL LEAST I WILL HAVE MY ANSWER THEN.